Our family has been fortunate enough over the years to travel with our 2 daughters, so they have been on plane trips before. However. I personally have never taken them by myself on a plane since I always had my husband with me for man on man coverage. A few months ago, my husband flew early out of town, and the plan was for me to take the girls separately to meet up with him and to visit friends. When we discussed this plan a few months prior to trip, my anticipatory instincts kicked in, and I started preparing for how I would handle a toddler and preschooler by myself. I was nervous about being double teamed by two very energetic and feisty opponents, I mean children. Factor in the fact that I rarely travel without my husband in the first place, and my anxiety was compounded.
I usually at least travel with my husband, and luckily, I had a few opportunities for “practice runs” to travel without him – first with a friend, and then by myself. I admit that I rely on my husband when it comes to travel, so it was good for me to test out the waters by myself. I used these learning opportunities to prepare myself for traveling with my 2 girls.
We timed my flight in the morning, when my girls are on their most pleasant behavior. If I know what my girls love for distraction, it is some good snacks, so I made sure to pack some fun treats they don’t usually get and mainstays that they were guaranteed to gobble up. Instead of taking our behemoth double stroller, I opted to take a single stroller for my older 4 year old daughter and carry my 2 year old in a baby carrier. I had my hands free to carry bags, and room on the stroller to load bags on there as well.
My 4 year old either sensed my nerves or was excited about the responsibility as my right hand man, and she really took to the role of my helper. She listened to my directions that morning and stayed by my side. When we boarded the plane, I avoided eye contact with other passengers because I was worried they would be annoyed about potentially noisy children on board. Or I gave them apologetic smiles, letting them know I was aware that they might get upset about a potentially noisy flight. To my surprise and relief though, passengers offered to help me with my bags, talked sweetly to my daughters and in general were very kind as they could see I had my hands full. I could not believe how helpful everyone around me was. After all the anticipation and worry, my daughters initially ate their snacks, then fell asleep for the rest of the plane ride!
For the flight home, I again traveled with the girls alone, this time with a layover. We took a morning flight again. I found myself trying to sound upbeat with the girls while stressing inside about keeping track of them. The first short flight I made sure to keep them awake so that *fingers crossed* they would sleep soundly again on the second flight. Snacks and Disney movies were a hit, and the girls stayed happy enough on the flight.
On the second leg of the flight, my older daughter started drifting to sleep before the flight left the ground. Yes! I thought. One down, one more to go! I looked over at my two year old who, fortunately was not crying, but instead, she was singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” at the top of her lungs. I tried to reassure myself that at least she was happy and not crying and inconsolable, but then I started to look around. Other passengers closing their eyes trying to sleep, one woman who sighed loudly, in my mind, of course, because my daughter was being so loud. I shushed my daughter, but she was in her zone, singing her favorite song. I offered her her favorite stuffed animal, encouraged her to take a nap, but she was not interested. I went back to avoiding eye contact with other passengers and unsuccessfully distracting my daughter. Thank goodness, she eventually fell asleep.
Unfortunately, half an hour before landing, she woke up and started to cry inconsolably. This is often how she wakes up from her naps in general, crying for 30-45 minutes afterwards. I comforted her and panicked about my neighboring passengers now hearing this child’s loud cries. This is what I get for daring to be relieved earlier when she was singing and not crying! I tried to ignore my stress as I hugged her tightly trying to calm her down. As I held her, wanting to cry myself, I had a moment of realization. I realized my job was not to make sure the other passengers were comfortable. My job was to be my daughter’s mother–and to make sure my DAUGHTER was comfortable. My stress for my concern for the other passengers faded, the tension in my body dissipated, and I quietly sang to my daughter, and she soon calmed down with me. We both relaxed, and we made it home safely, which is all I could ask for.
There have been and will continue to be many first time experiences with my children, and I am learning for my own comfort level, it helps to be prepared in advance. I like to think out my plan for how to handle my children and think about possible scenarios for what may happen with them. My husband may think it is a bit much, but I can at least find comfort in preparing for various possibilities. I also was reminded on this trip how helpful strangers are and their support allowed me to be more relaxed with my children. I also learned that as worried as I was about what strangers around me thought about my children, all I could control was how I felt about the situation and that my children’s needs were met. It may take me several more times to mutter to myself, “You go mama!”, but we are getting there!
3 Medical Mommy Musings:
- It is helpful for us to travel during nap time, with the white noise of the plane to lull the girls to sleep.
- Strangers can be incredibly kind and helpful when they see a mom traveling with her children! Holding a bag for even 10 seconds while I set my daughters down or a reassuring smile from a stranger did wonders to ease my stress.
- Focus on my children’s well-being during travel and everything else will fall into place!
